ST. PETERS

The next day I decided I had an obligation to visit St. Peters Basilica, the largest church in the world and thank God for my life- literally! I visited St. Peters and the Vatican 25 years ago when I escorted my son’s Latin class there. Yes, I have a son who took 4 years of Latin. I really thought he was on the path to priesthood!

Many do not know that the Vatican, where the pope presides, is the world’s smallest country. It became its own country in 1929. It is 121 acres large with a population of 764. It is ruled by – the pope of course.

I spent almost the entire day inside after waiting hours outside to get in. The sheer magnitude of the church is beyond comprehension. It is literally crammed with the greatest art work and bronze and marble sculptures. The first one you see is Michelangelo’s Pieta behind bullet proof glass. I slowly walked around and took in each painting and statue.

The Vatican Museums house a whopping 70,000 art works lining the walls of the Sistine Chapel. What amazes art lovers is not just the sheer number of works but the famous pieces like Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel frescoes, Raphaels’s murals and a series of works from the likes of Piccasso, Dali, Van Gogh and Gauguin all making up part of the collection.

The confessionals were open and I thought “Wow, to go to confession at St. Peters in Rome, this is akin to a miracle.” There were about 15 confessional booths and each one had a sign above the door for the language you wanted to confess in. I went to the Italian/English one.

I knelt down, the priest opened the little screen and I started the beginning of the confession which is: “Bless me father for I have sinned, my last confession was about a year ago.” Then repeated my sins, no sorry I cannot repeat ALL my sins to all of you for fear someone might post them on a social media site. But they were minor, mostly missing a mass here and there and judging life in general.

Then I paused because I forgot the next part. I don’t go to confession often and therefore do not have the most important part memorized. Usually at home the church has a confessional card for you to take in to read so you get it right. It starts with something like “Almighty God, I confess that I have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed;” I stopped and the priest who had a heavy Italian accent prompted me “Go on.”

I could tell he was a bit annoyed. I told him I did not remember the rest and would include it in a sin for not knowing. He did not think that was funny and completed the verse for me. Then he told me to go and sit in front of the side alter and stare at the crucifix for 5 minutes. Usually, the pence is a certain number of “Our Father’s” and “Hail Mary’s” depending on the gravity of your sins. If you see someone come out of the confessional and go straight to praying the rosary you know that it was a BIG sin! Perhaps, he thought I forgot the words to those prayers also which is why he had me stare at the crucifix. Ahh, my catholic rituals, you have to love them, well at least I have to love them.

“My favorite confession ever was just about a year ago at a new church I attended. The priest was from India and had a certain “mystical aura” about him. He actually taught seminarians in Rome. I went in, with my card of course, and confessed about the same. Missing mass, judging others. He said, “Is that all?” I said “Yes”. He replied “Why are you bothering me with this, we all judge, we are humans, just don’t act out on the judgement. Go say an Our Father and don’t come back unless you have a grave sin. ” I started to attend all of his masses as he had short, sharp sermons that hit you right in the heart and you could not stop thinking about.

I felt so much lighter after leaving St .Peters, as if little wings were starting to sprout from my shoulders. I headed back to my all-female hostel where I shared one bathroom with 7 other girls. I decided not to judge them for taking FOREVER in the bathroom. I got up early the next day to avoid the backlog, packed up and headed out for my next adventure.

“Decisions, not conditions, determine what a man is.”
“Every human being has the freedom to change at any instant.”
- Viktor Frankel “Mans Search for Meaning”