MISS TAMARA

I board the “Miss Tamara” dive boat- yes that is really the name.  Trudy’s son and daughter in law, Jernigan and Naida, are good friends. 35 years ago they had a baby girl they named after me, Tamara, and later her Dad,Jernigan, built a dive boat for her, the Miss Tamara.

 When I board the boat the dive master takes roll call, then they ask the divers to give it up for the boat Captain, then to my surprise the dive master announces there is a special guest on board, and to give it up for the original Miss Tamara- and all the young divers let out a cheer and clap for me.

It is, of course a beautiful morning on Utila for diving. The weather here is repetitive- blue skies, blue ocean, sunny, – repeat. Every now and then the eastern breeze picks up a little and is a welcome change.

We head out to the north point and it is a bit of a turbulent ride driving up the east coast to get there. But once we round the point the waters calm and the diving and snorkeling are great. I spot a manta ray, a few dozen queen conch inching their way across the sandy bed, a translucent jelly fish and all the colorful fish I recognize from previous trips. Not to be left behind are the massive coral reefs and coral fans- I even spot a flamingo tongue on one of the fans – very rare to spot. I have a secret to spotting the rarest of rare- it is called “mature aging.”

Unlike the young divers rushing through the ocean to get down deeper and see as much as they can in the 45-minute dive, I take my time and hover over the reef slowly, barely moving.  Just like on land, if you linger and wait, the shyest of the shy will come out to greet you, works for humans as well. Patience is a virtue they say and a plus of ageing.

I dive with young people in their 20 ‘s – Israeli, German, French, Australian, and Swiss. All back packing around the world.  I am always captivated by their stories of how they found this run down, under developed island called Utila and their travel journey. They inspire me! 

Many have just come from Guatemala where they learned Spanish in Antigua and heard about diving in Utila and a few are moving on to Nicaragua to surf after learning to dive here. Fearless creatures.

Like the reef fish I wait patiently for a moment to enter into their heads to understand what makes them “click”.  One young man from Tennessee of all places, tells me when he graduated high school he did not want to go to college right away. He had siblings who were racking up massive college debt and did not have the high paying jobs to pay it off.

 He took a job at an auto manufacture factory to save money for school and discovered sailing through some friends. He became mesmerized with sailing and began crewing on regattas. This eventually led to buying a hurricane damaged boat in Florida for a few thousand dollars. He then you tubed how to fix it up, then sailed solo with no motor to Cuba, then on to Mexico. In México, while trying to find a post office to send a card he ran into a few Swiss back packers who crewed for him in exchange for a free ride down to Guatemala and the story continues. Now he works a few months a year as crew for big luxury yachts and maintains boats for Trudy’s. His girlfriend with a college degree and debt works as a dive instructor for half the pay he receives maintaining and crewing boats.

He says he never fought this desire to sail even though there was pressure to return to work or go to college. He called it his destiny- fate. 

A few months ago, a good friend I met in Nicaragua sent me a note I sent her in 2012 quoting Kafta on the Shore by Haruki Murakamiin on fate:

Fate is like a small sand storm that keeps changing direction. You try to out run it or change direction and if finds you every time. You turn and it adjust to follow you. It plays out like this over and over like some ominous dance with death – why because this storm is not something that just blew in from afar, this storm is you, something inside of you.

There is no escaping, so you really will have to make it through this violent storm of sand, cutting you, blinding you, cutting off your senses. Once the storm is over you wont’ remember how you made it through, how you managed. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person as when you walked into it, That is what the storm is all about, changing you, changing your direction.

I don’t know how to use TikTok, but I can write in cursive, do long division and tell time on a clock with hands, so there’s that!!

Why is it that brain cells, hair cells, and skin cells die constantly, but fat cells seem to have eternal life.

If you think adventure is dangerous – try routine– it can be lethal to the soul.

Don’t be afraid to travel alone and don’t be afraid to like it!